Points in Case Feed Digesthttp://app.feed.informer.com/digest3/pointsincase.html Respective post owners and feed distributors http://feed.informer.com/ Finding your first apartment is a bigger pain in the ass than purchasing your first car. But it beats living with the parents. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/simonne/5-12-08.htm Simonne Cullen http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/simonne/5-12-08.htm? Mon, 12 May 2008 06:44 GMT Katie Keeney was flying high, until Marine unleashed his wrath upon her stupid kite once and for all. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/5-12-08.htm Jonathan Marine http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/5-12-08.htm? Mon, 12 May 2008 06:40 GMT It was only a year ago that Casey could have been engaged like so many other poor, hapless friends of his. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/5-12-08.htm Casey Freeman http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/5-12-08.htm? Mon, 12 May 2008 05:42 GMT Alright, who's next? I'm all greased up with nowhere to go! YOU?! You think you can ride me?? AHAHAHAHA!! I've been bucking mildly sober people off in under 30 seconds since we opened this white trash dump of a bar and you think you can even climb on without falling over?! Yeah, this oughta be funny. Oh good idea, tell all your friends to get out their cameras first, cuz this one's goin on http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/05/mechanical-bull.html Court Jesting http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/05/mechanical-bull.html? Mon, 12 May 2008 01:51 GMT My mom loves telling embarrassing stories about me. I mean she really enjoys it. One of her favorite baby pictures of me was taken with me kissing my little brother on the cheek (I think we were like three and two respectively at the time) in an effort to help him get over his since resolved fear of large flash bulbs. You can imagine how embarrassed I would get when Mom would show that picture to http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/my-mom-reads-this-blog.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/my-mom-reads-this-blog.html? Sun, 11 May 2008 10:12 GMT Conversations #3 from Toxic Green on Vimeo. http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/conversations-3-from-toxic-green-on.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/conversations-3-from-toxic-green-on.html? Fri, 09 May 2008 20:19 GMT Welcome back to The Investor’s Coroner, your weekly attempt to make both sense and fun of the current global markets and inform you of the happenings in the international marketplace while simultaneously dropping in jokes from the free throw line of life. It is a goal of The Investor’s Coroner to help you understand just what’s going on in this here economy. Or, barring that, maybe you’ll learn http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/investors-coroner-everything-sucks.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/investors-coroner-everything-sucks.html? Fri, 09 May 2008 11:32 GMT Conversations #2 from Toxic Green on Vimeo. http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/conversations-2.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/conversations-2.html? Thu, 08 May 2008 20:41 GMT During one half year of my life, I volunteered to help latchkey kids learn to read at a local church for a program called Kid’s Place. The program, invented by my minister mother and run by wide-eyed college students with dreams of changing the world one person at a time, does a great job teaching children how to interact, how to be better at school and how not to fall into the pit of desperation http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/help-out-old-hood.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/help-out-old-hood.html? Thu, 08 May 2008 11:57 GMT Bob Costas hosts a sports blogging debate featuring sports blogger Will Leitch and psycho Pulitzer prize winner Buzz Bissinger. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/5-8-08.htm Nathan DeGraaf http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/5-8-08.htm? Thu, 08 May 2008 03:28 GMT The gift and the curse of being given the rare ability to unleash the most foul and disgusting farts, on command. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/5-8-08.htm Jonathan Marine http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/5-8-08.htm? Thu, 08 May 2008 03:24 GMT Phone Conversation from Toxic Green on Vimeo. http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/phone-conversation-video.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/phone-conversation-video.html? Wed, 07 May 2008 22:48 GMT Dave: So how you handling the breakup? Me: I’m good. Gets easier every day and all that. Dave: Yeah, you’ll bounce back. It’s not like you have all that many feelings. Me: I do have some. Dave: Yeah, but you sound like you just found that out. Me: You’re… you’re probably right. Jamie: You look good. Me: Yeah, I’ve got no car so I’ve been walking a lot lately, getting some sun and http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/snippets-cut-out-ice-cream.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/snippets-cut-out-ice-cream.html? Wed, 07 May 2008 13:33 GMT When I die, I don't want to die like every other pussy. I wanna die like Evel Knievel. Actually, wait, Evel Knievel died in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. The only way I'll die like that is if I'm driving the ambulance and flames are shooting out of it as I jump it off of a cliff, and the hospital we're driving to is Hell, and three underage virgin strippers are giving me a rimjob while http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/out-of-my-mindonto-pic.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/out-of-my-mindonto-pic.html? Tue, 06 May 2008 17:03 GMT Use these lines if you ever want to try to get with Rosie O'Donnell! Are you legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day! Just kidding, because you're fat. That outfit would look even better crumpled up next to my bed...because it would mean you changed into a paper bag that covers up your whole face and body. Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see. Not http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/rosie-odonnell-pick-up-lines.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/rosie-odonnell-pick-up-lines.html? Tue, 06 May 2008 16:46 GMT Your friends have finally forced you off your Xbox and out of the house to meet a real girl. Will you make it through the evening with her? http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/blind_date_adventure.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/blind_date_adventure.htm? Tue, 06 May 2008 16:42 GMT It's not every hour that you get an email like this. Give your lassie endless nights of pure delight and passion with a big one! Bring more love and passion into your life today! angry expressions, indistinctly or with a low voice andthings."The President of France Jacques Chirac announces that The President of France Jacques Chirac announces thatangry expressions, indistinctly or with a low http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/05/super-bonus-post-my-fanmail.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/05/super-bonus-post-my-fanmail.html? Tue, 06 May 2008 16:15 GMT It's not every day you get fan mail like this. And I figured I'd share. As you by now are well aware of, you are fortunate enough not to have your head shoved up your ass. I'd put that in the win column, but you don't seem like the type of person who likes to be told what to do, so do with it what you will. You seem to view the world quite rationally and logically, and for this you will be http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/bonus-post-email.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/bonus-post-email.html? Tue, 06 May 2008 15:23 GMT I share the belief of many of my contemporaries that the spiritual crisis pervading all spheres of Western industrial society can be remedied only by a change in our world view. We shall have to shift from the materialistic, dualistic belief that people and their environment are separate, toward a new consciousness of an all-encompassing reality, which embraces the experiencing ego, a reality in http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/acrostic-for-some-swiss-doctor.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/acrostic-for-some-swiss-doctor.html? Tue, 06 May 2008 09:18 GMT I've been in a variety of office environments. I've been in the kind of offices where everybody just kind of sits around and does their own thing on their own computer, I've been in the kind of office where everybody has a lot of interaction with each other but ignores me, I've been in the kind of offices where people still wonder if I'm coming to fix the air conditioner even though a.)I've been http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/05/i-work-with-hungry-little-raccoons.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/05/i-work-with-hungry-little-raccoons.html? Mon, 05 May 2008 12:18 GMT When your lawyer calls you at work and says, “Hey Pal, I sure hope you’re making a lot of money,” well that’s what those in the flag industry call the “Barn Red Special.” Since being dumped, I’ve stepped up my workouts, tightened my diet and am trying to get more sun. It’s almost as if my response to being dropped is: “Oh yeah, well I’m gonna make myself so hot you’ll be sorry.” But really, how http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/observations-on-mend.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/observations-on-mend.html? Mon, 05 May 2008 10:32 GMT Believe it or not, today is the best day of my life. If you were standing next to me right now and I told you that, you might ask me what makes today the best day of my life? I would answer you by asking you a question, even though people hate that shit. Well, why WOULDN'T this be the best day of my life? It's the only day of my life that I'm currently able to participate in, for starters. http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/05/today-is-best-day-of-my-life.html Power Hour http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/05/today-is-best-day-of-my-life.html? Mon, 05 May 2008 07:45 GMT Office jobs reward you with steady paychecks, business cards, and paper clips. Bartending rewards you with whiskey shots. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/5-5-08.htm Casey Freeman http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/5-5-08.htm? Mon, 05 May 2008 04:42 GMT An imagined play-by-play of the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie wedding, complete with celeb baby girls Suri and Shiloh going wild. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/allison/5-5-08.htm Allison Parks http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/allison/5-5-08.htm? Mon, 05 May 2008 04:32 GMT Poor, old pecker-snake, trapped hoverin above the sex act, listenin to the metronomic thumps of your hissin fury. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/5-5-08.htm Nick Gaudio http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/5-5-08.htm? Mon, 05 May 2008 04:29 GMT I bet Picasso's friends didn't get mad at him when he drew dicks on their face when they passed out early at parties. How come you never see really extreme public displays of affection? Like anal sex in the park? Or a gangbang in a third-grade classroom? I wonder if the Church Channel had problems coming up with material during the Writer's Strike... If you ever get depressed because you're http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/my-thoughts-return.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/05/my-thoughts-return.html? Sun, 04 May 2008 19:25 GMT Shopping for a new car, which ones me? A cool convertible or an SUV? I didn't know that my credit was whack, now I'm driving off the lot in a used sub-compact! F-R-E-E, that's spells free, credit report dot com, baby. Saw their adds on my TV, thought about going but was too lazy. Now Instead of looking fly and rollin' phat, my legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/05/f-r-e-e-that-spells-free.html Power Hour http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/05/f-r-e-e-that-spells-free.html? Sat, 03 May 2008 23:19 GMT I try to read the Coroner but it’s like… it’s so depressing. Aaaaa—Xavier Holland Welcome back to The Investor’s Coroner, your weekly attempt to make both sense and fun of the current global markets and inform you of the happenings in the international marketplace while simultaneously making with the funny. It is a goal of The Investor’s Coroner to help you understand just what’s going on in http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/investors-coroner-now-candy-coated.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/investors-coroner-now-candy-coated.html? Fri, 02 May 2008 10:22 GMT To my 3 readers, sorry for the break. I've been busy moving. As you may know, from reading my blog, I participate in a Kickball league. Since my last kickball post, I've played two games. Well, the first game was a fucking disaster. You have to have 4 girls playing at all times, and we only had 1 girl show up for the first game. Thank you for being committed to the team, Bridget. You're http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/05/whatre-you-lookin-at-butthead.html Power Hour http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/05/whatre-you-lookin-at-butthead.html? Fri, 02 May 2008 07:56 GMT Sex now is scarier than your first time, thanks to a myriad of new diseases and dicks runnin&os; wild. http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/scared_of_sex.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/scared_of_sex.htm? Thu, 01 May 2008 19:40 GMT To all those kids who bowed out of life too soon, here&os;s helping you give the world the big fuck you it deserves. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/5-1-08.htm Nathan DeGraaf http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/5-1-08.htm? Thu, 01 May 2008 14:33 GMT The school candy selling fundraiser reveals a vindictive side to Katie Keeney, Marine&os;s elementary school nemesis. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/5-1-08.htm Jonathan Marine http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/5-1-08.htm? Thu, 01 May 2008 14:24 GMT Romance: I think it's ok to have sex with a third cousin, if the first two have gained a lot of weight. Politics: I don't want to be the Vice President, just the President of Vices. Family: I guess a 5th birthday party is too late for a coathanger abortion, but I'll be damned if that clown didn't give it the ol' college try. Employment: I'm not a clown, I just dress up like one for http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/05/small-thoughts-on-big-issues.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/05/small-thoughts-on-big-issues.html? Thu, 01 May 2008 11:24 GMT Lila broke up with me through a phone call. When I was fifteen I broke up with a chick on her answering machine so I guess I had it coming. I know some people who’ve broken up via text messaging. And I think that’s awesome. A lot of people will tell you that breakups should happen face to face but I don’t think so. Face to face breakups are too emotional, too much like real life. And real http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/four-months-is-pretty-good-for-me.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/05/four-months-is-pretty-good-for-me.html? Thu, 01 May 2008 08:16 GMT Sorry for the misleading title. The title of this blog post implies that I'm about to reveal some deep, dark secrets about myself. But alas, I do not have any. I've never sinned, unless you count worshipping God too much as a sin!!!!!...................Right? (...........Do you?) Here's the final cut of that movie I posted a while ago. It's a short film I did for class with a few other people http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/few-things-ive-never-told-you.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/few-things-ive-never-told-you.html? Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:04 GMT "Be sure to tell your mom and dad all about this." "Did you see the State of the Union address last night?" "So I was reading Shakespeare last night....." "I'm sorry." http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/things-my-uncle-would-never-say-while.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/things-my-uncle-would-never-say-while.html? Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:36 GMT Jake: What do you think about this Jeremiah Wright business? Me: I think I’m surprised you’re following politics. Jake: I got a girlfriend. Me: I once ate a ninety ounce steak—what the hell are we talking about anyway? Jake: My girl’s into politics so I have to act like I am. Me: Why do you have to act like you’re something your not? Jake: Because, quite frankly my young paduan, she is http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/snippets-screw-politics.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/snippets-screw-politics.html? Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:59 GMT You come home and have to pee really bad and your friends and family are there waiting for you in the bathroom When you bring your new girlfriend home to meet your parents When you're mistaken for someone else who the intervention is intended for When you only do OxyContin for fun, it's not a problem, I swear http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/awkward-intervention-situations.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/awkward-intervention-situations.html? Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:16 GMT Lit rhythms chide the embrace of my day As the hang gliding heat beats my pavement feet. Never could care to ease the sojourner’s way, Only had me a little of something to say. Sweat from my brow, hot like a sting Drips slowly down and dies on the street. Don’t feel like singing—got too many songs, Only got me a yearning that moves me along. Strip malls like ugly tombs stain my earth womb As http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/is-freedom.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/is-freedom.html? Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:30 GMT Sorry I bailed on the Investor’s Coroner last week. It’s just that Friday I was drunk and Saturday I never got the opportunity because my bedroom was occupied by someone who needed sleep and Sunday I was watching the Cards game and studying financial papers at the same time when I said to myself, “Baseball and the stock market do not belong together.” So I quit thinking and popped a beer and by http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/i-apologize-for-my-observations.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/i-apologize-for-my-observations.html? Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:07 GMT While you were away, your wife screwed your best friend, your boss, the dog, and the postman. Hey, their penises have needs, too. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/4-28-08.htm Nick Gaudio http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/4-28-08.htm? Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:20 GMT Hmm, a job where doing nothing is not only encouraged, it&os;s in the job description? Sounds like I&os;m over-qualified, but I&os;ll take it! http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/4-28-08.htm Casey Freeman http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/4-28-08.htm? Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:03 GMT Also known as, The Longest Article Title On PIC (although that wouldn't be the longest, so it would be quite ironic). Janitor Garbageman Lunch lady Drug dealer Volunteer KKK leader Pornographic film actor A slave to 'The Man' Freelance Gynecologist http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/things-children-never-say-when-you-ask.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/things-children-never-say-when-you-ask.html? Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:25 GMT (Click to see better) http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/postsecret-comic.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/postsecret-comic.html? Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:11 GMT "If you don't take care of your teeth, I'm going to take care of your grandma...with a knife." "Your teeth make my daughter cry...and then I hit her...and then I start crying. It's a vicious cycle. Brush your teeth, faggot." "I fucking hate you MORE than I hate cavities...and I hate cavities alot, okay?" "Iraq, terrorists, 9/11, your teeth. What do they have in common? Everything." "Knock http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/quotes-from-my-dentist.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/quotes-from-my-dentist.html? Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:49 GMT I ship out to Lackland AFB, Texas, on a Tuesday. I had sex on a Tuesday once. Logically, this coming Tuesday is going to be a good day. My training period will encompass the theatrical releases of Iron Man, Indy Jones, and Speed Racer. It's unfair, really. Other historical events that fall within this period include the 2nd anniversary of my 21st birthday, Memorial Day Weekend, and the http://www.pointsincase.com/lucci/2008/04/beyond-wild-blue.html Scriptures of Tyrone http://www.pointsincase.com/lucci/2008/04/beyond-wild-blue.html? Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:48 GMT Everyone's favorite PIC writer, Paul Frank, will soon be writing a weekly column called "Experimental Comedy." As part of the column-making process (nothing like childbirth, but something like raising a child), I ask new columnists to sum up their column in a short description. The result is this page full of them. You could think of it less as a description and more as some sort of guiding light http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/04/experimental-descriptions.html Court Jesting http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/04/experimental-descriptions.html? Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:35 GMT 0553 Hours, Fort Lee, Virginia Can err'body hear me? Yeah? Okay people, let's break it up. I wanna' make this quick so I can get to my first cup of coffee. Err'body get off the curb and ontada' street. Hey! Get back, I ain't got time to piss around wich ya'll. It's too early, I'm too cranky, and if one of ya'll acts a fool, I'll make sure the doctors probe ya' witdey' foot. And don't flap ya'lls http://www.pointsincase.com/lucci/2008/04/sermon-shepherd-sheep.html Scriptures of Tyrone http://www.pointsincase.com/lucci/2008/04/sermon-shepherd-sheep.html? Sun, 27 Apr 2008 19:51 GMT Hey, Karen. Stace, you finished that paper yet? Nah, me neither. It's like what they say: procrastination is just like masturbating. Sure it feels good, but in the end, you're just fucking yourself. Also because I like to jerk off instead of doing papers. Creepy, huh? So you guys going to that party this weekend? I hear it's supposed to be a blast. So by now, you've probably noticed I have an http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/so-youve-probably-noticed-my-erection.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/so-youve-probably-noticed-my-erection.html? Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:41 GMT Hey kids, Paul Frank here. Welcome to another episode of "The Porn Game" - the game show that's neither a game nor a show. I find screenshots from porno films on the internet, captioning them with what I think the people in the shot said/thought during or right after the shot. "Hey Dad, hey Mom. I'm going to the mall with Jenny." "Right hand, red. Left boner, your face." "I just wish http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/porn-game-part-2-nsfw.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/porn-game-part-2-nsfw.html? Sat, 26 Apr 2008 21:27 GMT Women will never understand the strange view men have of monogamy. The view set forth decades ago by pioneers like Johnny Appleseed. http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/monogamys_a_bitch.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/monogamys_a_bitch.htm? Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:33 GMT According to Alexa and Fearless Editor “That Bitch better not be ovulating” Court “Big Fatty Pun” Sullivan, I am the number one writer on the 72,388th most popular site on the web. And with that kind of power, thankfully, comes no responsibility. God bless this place. An acquaintance of mine who took a few writing classes with me back in college, recently and out of fucking nowhere, googled my http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/beers.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/beers.html? Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:38 GMT (Click to see better) http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/advertising-can-be-deceptive-comic.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/advertising-can-be-deceptive-comic.html? Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:50 GMT How to tell if a girl is not as insane as just about every girl you meet. Plus, the craziness level versus how good the sex is. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/4-24-08.htm Nathan DeGraaf http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/4-24-08.htm? Thu, 24 Apr 2008 04:35 GMT September 11th, 2001. Two planes have just struck the World Trade Center buildings. Smoldering, burning, collapsing. Screams and noise everywhere. Fear and utter panic rule the air. A state of shock sweeps over New York City. A city in shambles. No one knows what to do. A newsroom. Television screens and computer monitors buzzing. People walking, working, writing. The biggest news in years. But http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/cable-news-network.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/cable-news-network.html? Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:29 GMT Lila: You’re drunk. Me: How can you tell? Kris: She’s met you before. Lila: I can tell when you’re drunk by your eyes. Kris: I can tell when you’re drunk by your presence. Me: Kris, you’re not helping. Me: Do you think Falls Liquor will have ice? Lila: I’m sure they will. They’re a liquor store. Me: Well, as long as you’re sure. Me: Do you have bags of ice? Mike the Liquor Store Guy: Of course http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/snippets-emailed-india.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/snippets-emailed-india.html? Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:52 GMT Sugarcoating: Sugarcoating is pretty awesome; I don't understand why people are so reticent to let it happen to issues. Delicious, delicious issues. Have Your Cake And Eat It Too: It is entirely possible to purchase (steal) a large hunk of cake, have it for a while, and then eat it. Even the revised form, "eat your cake and have it too" doesn't really make that much sense; how could you be http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/sayings-i-dont-actually-understand.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/sayings-i-dont-actually-understand.html? Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:37 GMT An apology from a 6th grade teacher who led his team to victory by any means necessary. http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/faculty_student_basketball.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/faculty_student_basketball.htm? Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:49 GMT 18th Century France, At War with the Aliens Dear Mother, I am truly sorry. I must speak of war in a way that bereaves you. The simple truth that all men wish to destroy their father’s legacy has been enlivened once again! All talks of negotiation halted last week and sure enough, cannons were filed out into the courtyards shortly thereafter. Some of the more audacious men pointed them directly http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/at-war-with-aliens.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/at-war-with-aliens.html? Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:48 GMT A delivery room. A woman has just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Smiles all around. The doctor holds the baby up triumphantly and then gives her to the woman, presumably the baby’s mother. The mother looks at her new baby girl in awe as the girl moves her arms around, stretching into the new world for the first time. Then the doctor grabs the baby back from her and sets it down on the http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/delivery-room.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/delivery-room.html? Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:19 GMT Hey humans. What’s up? It’s me, Planet Earth. Yeah well I just wanted to thank you for setting up a day in my honor so a chunk of me crawled into this internet hack’s ear while he was sleeping (read: passed out) after spending an evening playing pool in a smoky pool hall. I didn’t really want to use this guy but using print media just wouldn’t look too good on Earth Day and most of the popular http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/letter-from-earth.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/letter-from-earth.html? Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:50 GMT Fourteen Loves Thirteen Isn’t it hot for a day in Autumn? Aren’t the girls impressed? There’s a tent. A big, ugly, bright orange tent by the site, see? Hatch’s dad put up the tent. He’s inside with a girl, Lisa, rolling around, fucking probably. I’m outside listening with my girl, Laura. We haven’t talked much, but that’s okay, we occasionally throw a rock or something at the side of the tent http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/fourteen-loves-thirteen.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/fourteen-loves-thirteen.html? Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:34 GMT I received an email from a guy in India recently. It was pretty cool. Anyway, he told me that marijuana sells for about a dollar or two a quarter ounce over there. Now, if you have a passport and bags of weed are your bag, well then, that’s a good vacation spot for you, huh? I got to thinking about the future of globalization, of the economy, of technology and of humanity in general and I http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/observations-like-cheap-child-care.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/observations-like-cheap-child-care.html? Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:31 GMT Some people call flight attendants glorified cocktail waitresses. But only the former has to do all the dirty work herself. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/simonne/4-21-08.htm Simonne Cullen http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/simonne/4-21-08.htm? Mon, 21 Apr 2008 05:33 GMT Designers have de-sexualized the female form for the last time with this atrocious, awful and un-American style: high waist jeans for girls. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/4-21-08.htm Casey Freeman http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/4-21-08.htm? Mon, 21 Apr 2008 05:32 GMT A knock on a door. A female in her mid-twenties answers. "Hello, ma'am. I have to walk around the neighborhood and get signatures for this sheet." "Why?" He sighs. "I'm a convicted baby drowner, and I'm moving into the neighborhood." " 'Baby drowner?' So didja drown lots a' babies?" Sigh. "Yes. Yes, I drowned a ton of babies." "Oh. Well I'm not really sure if I want a baby drowner living in http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/neighborhood.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/neighborhood.html? Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:45 GMT Jersey Guy: Yo. Yous havin’ trouble witcho dick? Genie Make My Dick Grow is what yous needs. Yo. Yous be squirtin so much yo bitch better be a mop. I’m talkin’ if yous got phallus failures, erectile dyslexia, all that shit. Genie Make My Dick Grow ain’t frontin’, it’ll leave yo woman wantin’. Big Joisee Dick Contest. It’s goin on now and foreva, nigga. Really White Guy: Do you mean when it’s like http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/commercial-fun.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/commercial-fun.html? Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:21 GMT Women are gathered in a circle, all sitting down. A somber mood throughout the room. No one has died, but many have been raped. Actually, all have been raped. But it's not the good kind of rape, like in pornography or high school. Their are various posters on the wall, none pertaining to rape directly, but could be construed I guess to tie into rape somehow. But basically one gets the impression http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/rape-support-group.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/rape-support-group.html? Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:40 GMT Me: So what do you think of the Investor’s Coroner? Is it working for you? Kev: I love it. Some of the kids might not get it but I think it’s great. I even emailed it to my Dad. He was a financial advisor for a long time. Me: Did he like it? Kev: Yeah, he did. Although he did say that he’s never read any investment writing that used the word fuck before. Me: That’s what separates me from the pack http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/investors-coroner-think-globally-act.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/investors-coroner-think-globally-act.html? Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:46 GMT Warning: The following post is for hardcore internet geeks only. And people who like to laugh at jokes, even though they might not fully understand them. After years and years of ridiculously inaccurate rankings and flawed methodology, Alexa has finally admitted guilt: "The New Alexa Rankings" http://www.alexa.com/site/company/announcement Talk about taking forever to fix your shit. This was a http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/04/alexa-finally-admits-they-sucked.html Court Jesting http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/04/alexa-finally-admits-they-sucked.html? Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:55 GMT A massive growth terrorizes Sarah&os;s coccyx region, and you may bear witness to all the intimate, grueling details as the tail grows. http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/tale_of_my_tail2.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/tale_of_my_tail2.htm? Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:27 GMT The best way to break up with a girl is to be honest with her. So go ahead, tell her she&os;s fat, annoying, crazy, or terrible at sex. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/4-17-08.htm Jonathan Marine http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/4-17-08.htm? Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:22 GMT American money was meant to look kick ass, not pretty and colorful. Lay off the queer design changes, U.S. government. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/4-17-08.htm Nathan DeGraaf http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/4-17-08.htm? Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:59 GMT Ok, I'm writing about my girlfriend a little. She hasn't been upset with anything I've done so far (since the first time, anyway). So I think I know where the line is. Now, my girl is awesome. She really and truly cares about me and she wants to help me in my life without really changing me. I think that's great. You know what else I think is great? Baseball. More specifically: St. Louis http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/lila-tivo-and-adam-wainwright.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/lila-tivo-and-adam-wainwright.html? Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:02 GMT A massive growth terrorizes Sarah&os;s coccyx region, and you may bear witness to all the intimate, grueling details as the tail grows. http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/tale_of_my_tail.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/tale_of_my_tail.htm? Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:09 GMT Random Guy Sitting Next to me at the Bar: You get the idea? Me: We weren’t talking. RGSNB: Who was I talking to, then? Me: I don’t know. RGSNB: You’re not much help. RGSNB: Hey man, you want to hear the idea? Me: What’s your name? RGSNB: My name. My name? Why you wanta know my name? Me: I don’t trust a man who can’t tell me his name. RGSNB: You see I’m smiling? Me: Yeah. RGSNB: That’s ‘cause I http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/snippets-met-jack.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/snippets-met-jack.html? Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:21 GMT God I love Wikipedia. I spend hours reading it sometimes. Do you know the entire history of Dr. Pepper? I do! One of the reasons I love Wikipedia is because anybody can modify it, for any reason, at any time. Now, they have editors who review every edit, but it usually takes them a few days to catch them. Sometimes I see them before they catch it, and sometimes I edit Wikipedia articles http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/04/wikipedia-this-is-why-i-love-it.html Power Hour http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/04/wikipedia-this-is-why-i-love-it.html? Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:36 GMT Everybody has been writing these "mind of" pieces since Justin Rebello did it a few years ago. Some kid even plagiarized his article in his school newspaper. And, since I'm a lazy asshole, I'm going to give you one too, with a spin, of course. Damnit, I'm at work now. Turn on laptop! Yes! Welcome to Windows. I'm almost there! I'm not going spend the entire day surfing the internet at work http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/04/mind-of-pic-writer.html Power Hour http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/04/mind-of-pic-writer.html? Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:00 GMT (Click to see better) http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/high-protein-diet-part-ii-comic.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/high-protein-diet-part-ii-comic.html? Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:19 GMT I recently found a website that allows free e-book downloading. It's got a really good policy, of which I will not explain. You should check it out. I recommend Blindness by Jose Saramago as your first DL. Then 9 Stories by Salinger (It's first, "A Perfect Day for Bananafish" is my favorite short story) Here's the link. http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/book-readers-rejoice.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/book-readers-rejoice.html? Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:01 GMT o f f c e n t e r In case you missed it, the New York Yankees, a rich and storied franchise, learned that there was a Red Sox T-shirt in the cement foundation under the visitor's dugout of their stadium. Naturally, they spent $50,000 digging it up and replacing the huge divot(s). I'm a sports nut and even I think that is straight up, overblown stupidity. How in the hell, in this http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/its-t-shirt.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/its-t-shirt.html? Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:01 GMT I just went to check my Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!1111 mail and noticed that some spam got through into my inbox. While this is not unusual, the thing that was unusual is that these messages did not even try to cover themselves up or get past the spam filter. Blatant spam at its worst: SUBJECT:To get your cock stiff in seconds, click here. I can never have too much cock inside me, so I can do MESSAGE: http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/thats-either-spam-or-something-really.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/thats-either-spam-or-something-really.html? Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:00 GMT Yo momma so dumb she doesn't know how to use the internet...but you could at least call her once in a while. Yo momma so lonely sometimes she almost cries, but then your father comes into the room, and he would make fun of your mother if she was crying and that would just make her want to cry more but then he would yell "STOP CRYING WOMAN" and she would say "I'm trying!" Yo momma so broke after http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/guilt-trip-yo-momma-lines.html The Paul Frank Blog http://www.pointsincase.com/paul/2008/04/guilt-trip-yo-momma-lines.html? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:44 GMT (Click to see better) http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/honesty-comic.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/honesty-comic.html? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:30 GMT For some writers, the creative process is this vague and mysterious thing that they don't even want to think about lest they jinx it like one can jinx a no-hitter by talking to the pitcher (or at least like one believes one can jinx a no-hitter by talking to the pitcher). Others have the creative process refined and practiced. I am probably of the former. Here is how my latest column came to be. http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/for-some-writers-creative-process-is.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/for-some-writers-creative-process-is.html? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:40 GMT A few days ago, in a music class, we listened to about 5-7 minutes of some piece and were assigned to write based on what we heard. For whatever reason, my freewriting came out in verse. Anyway, it's rough, and I'm not going to edit it, but I thought it was mildly interesting: The trumpets they trumped, the speakers they spoke! The naked donned armor and helmet and cloak! They called on their http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/music-class-verse.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/music-class-verse.html? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:12 GMT Did you know that they have a kickball league for adults? Two months ago I didn't know, either. I know now, though. If you haven't guessed, I joined a kickball league. Yea, you fucking heard me right, a kickball league. No, I'm not playing against third graders, either. Although, I could beat all their asses if I played them. My roommate came to me about a month ago and asked me if I http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/04/kickball-they-make-it-for-adults-now.html Power Hour http://www.pointsincase.com/jb/2008/04/kickball-they-make-it-for-adults-now.html? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:12 GMT Crazy Girlfriend admits to hatred, resigns herself to God, and cheats behind your back. But she also fills that daring desire, briefly. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/4-14-08.htm Nick Gaudio http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/4-14-08.htm? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:15 GMT Things were easy in the asexual, academic exploration of kindergarten. Until Katie Keeney introduced Marine to stubborn womanry. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/4-14-08.htm Jonathan Marine http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/jonathan/4-14-08.htm? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:07 GMT Congratulations on finishing college! You may now begin staring blankly at a computer for 8 hours a day. Every day. Bored to tears. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/4-14-08.htm Casey Freeman http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/casey/4-14-08.htm? Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:02 GMT An unborn child speaks out from inside the womb to let his father know it&os;s OK to have an abortion, and how to convince the girlfriend to do it. http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/your_abortion.htm PIC Articles http://www.pointsincase.com/articles/your_abortion.htm? Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:51 GMT (I'm not a racist) Let’s Lynch Tyra Banks Me: “Let’s Lynch Tyra Banks. Is that a good title?” Kellen: “I don’t like her. I think she’s annoying. So…yes.” Let’s lynch Tyra Banks, blacks and whites alike. Let’s go out and find the oldest tree growing on the pike. Let’s get a rope that can support her weight one very, very strong. Let’s throw it over the highest bough and sing a happy song. http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/lets-lynch-tyra-banks.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/lets-lynch-tyra-banks.html? Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:54 GMT Welcome back to The Investor’s Coroner, your weekly attempt to make both sense and fun of the current global markets and inform you of the happenings in the international marketplace while simultaneously injecting jokes like a shaking heroin addict with an aching arm. It is a goal of The Investor’s Coroner to help you understand just what’s going on in this here economy. Or, barring that, maybe http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/investors-coroner-fuck-dollar.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/investors-coroner-fuck-dollar.html? Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:15 GMT I Always Put My Penis (Or, called by my friends “The Odyssey of Masculinity and Mind-Altering Drugs“) (Or, why to never try to masturbate when you’re fucked up on mushrooms) I always put my penis deep in the willow trees, amongst the wispy boughs that sway lightly amid my knees, they tap and tickle my bandied pubic hair and my hangings balls are pleased. That they have been not ignored! I http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/i-always-put-my-penis.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/i-always-put-my-penis.html? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:17 GMT So, I don't get the opportunity to update this thing very often. However, once in a while I'll come up with something so spite-ridden that I must show you all. To get a little idea of what I mean, I guess I'd like to give you a little background... I like Paul Frank. I like reading Paul Frank. I like all the writers of this site, including most of the contributing writers (exception: Mike http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/comments-welcome.html The Wingman Diaries http://www.pointsincase.com/nick/2008/04/comments-welcome.html? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:44 GMT It’s been a while since I needlessly dissected a Violent Acres post. V has pretty good lately about not saying needlessly stupid and inflammatory things and sticking to topics on which she can actually offer insight. Unfortunately, that streak came to an abrupt, abrupt halt today. Let us begin. You might want to grab a half-caf soy mochiatto – it’s a long one. The problem with Atheists is most http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/va-is-not-great.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/va-is-not-great.html? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:56 GMT To be, or not to be vulgar? That is the question among many of the people who submit articles to PIC. Very often, I will get one of the following types of notes attached to submissions: I wrote this article. I don't know if it's too vulgar, but I hope not. I could probably edit out the bad words and stuff if you want. OR I wrote this really vulgar/offensive article. I figured PIC was http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/04/question-of-vulgarity.html Court Jesting http://www.pointsincase.com/blog/2008/04/question-of-vulgarity.html? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:34 GMT Another romantic-type thing, and probably the last one that's going to go on this blog. You might have seen a different version of this before, if you're a stalker: Equal power between the sexes is a sham. Oh sure, men might get better jobs and get paid more, but that means quite little when you realize that they only go to those jobs and make that money to impress women. Unless they’re gay, http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/little-sample-for-ladies.html Deus X Machina http://www.pointsincase.com/xavier/2008/04/little-sample-for-ladies.html? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:39 GMT It’s hard to write comedy in a suit and tie. It’s hard to study the stock market drunk. But I can write comedy drunk. And I love drinking. And I love writing. And I love comedy. I think I love the stock market also, but I hate suits and I really hate ties. So comedy writing wins. Now, if only I remembered how to be funny. Two Jews walk into a bar, say they’re tired of all the stereotypes and http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/i-didnt-feel-like-titling-this-one.html The Nate Way http://www.pointsincase.com/nathan/2008/04/i-didnt-feel-like-titling-this-one.html? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:36 GMT It&os;s tough to keep striking out when you&os;re already batting in a slump. Same goes for picking up women. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/4-10-08.htm Nick Gaudio http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nick/4-10-08.htm? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 04:37 GMT